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Talk:Kenshin Yagami (Spirit)
Character review Overall, this character has strong potential to become better. I like the bit of personality where he's described as observant and chooses a persona to match his surroundings: this can easily create intrigue in the character if he is ever portrayed in a story. I am interested in the one persona that is specifically mentioned as one of his favored "personalities." Outside the bits of dramatic flavor that I prefer to not be in an article, the content is quite solid. I really have nothing negative to critique. --[[User:LaviBookman|'れび']] (talk to Lavi!) 17:18, October 23, 2010 (UTC) Your Review 'Personality' Right, I noticed here that you started right off with some flowery words, this in my opinion is quite the neat strategy, as flowery words (while few actually understand them) seems to allude to an illusion of superiourity which entices them to read further. This is also, in what I've seen the reason most roleplayers use flowery words in their articles, to make the character, and the player behind seem more advanced. Though enough about my personal insights, that was not what I wrote a review for. Kenshin's personality is one of the longest sections of this character, and with good reason, due to the fact that Kenshin's personality is ever shifting due to the constant flow of memories. Like everything else, you put large quantities of hard work in your character, which is truly an admirable feature. Though you use perhaps too many flowery and dramatic phases here, this alludes people whom may not be so experienced in the englished language to likely misinterpret his personality in many ways, which is counter-intuitive for a section made to explain a characters personality. There is really nothing truly negative to say about this at this point, other than perhaps the idea of a reduced amount of flowery phrases. I do however enjoy the fact that you put so much emphasis on his determination, willpower and loyality, as those features seem to be one of the few whom actually define HIM and not Mr, and Mrs. Bloomey from across the street. 'Powers and Abilities' This is one of the most important sections of any character, especially one as powerful as Kenshin, you incorporate this well with his character, and especially in the notice of his Spiritual Power, which you've fittingly labelled as "The calm before the storm" which goes well with his given personality. I'll make this part of the review in as ordered a fashion as you did with me, and for now, I'll start with his physical abilities. 'Physical Abilities' Strength, Speed & Durability Kenshin's physical provess is astounding, he's a very dangerous opponents up close, and that is something that stays on as a theme for most of his powers - I have no problems with these things, in all honesty. As you're hardly the first, and undouptedly not the last to give your characters such qualities (around 60% of all the characters I've seen so far have things like this, after all) - I see no harm here whatsoever, and I apologize for repeating myself. Swordsmanship, Hakuda & Shunpo Now, here's where most people put their money, as a figure of speech; what I mean by that is that most characters have detoriating skills in at least one of these, in your case this is Hakuda, which is a rather cheap solution as it doesn't seem halfway as useful as Zanjutsu or Shunpo. While I heavily disagree with the prospect of "Grandmaster" as I've stated before, I don't mind in this case as you've used it to define his strongest point (most other characters whom possess the "Grandmaster" title has it in multiple fields), Its excellent how you've fleshed out his Swordsmanship to such great degrees, it actually makes the claim hold water. The reason I took so much time to create Hiroya's Kido provess is because I had established him as one of the greatest Kido Masters in Soul Socieities history, and I felt the need to actually prove that in his article. You, like so many before you have choosen Hakuda as his weak point, this is different from the usual aspect of cheapness of choice I explained before though, as you picked Hakuda because his fighting style DEMANDS Shunpo & Zanjutsu Mastery, due to its very nature, though who knows, for this reason you should perhaps reduce his skill with it to Basic, to make it even more balanced? Oh and, I find the Bakushukuchi ability heavily unreletated to his skill with Swordsmanship, unlike the other abilities you've mentioned, perhaps it'd make more sense if you moved it to the Assassination/Shunpo section? Assassination & Kido Provess Allright, here's where I've longed to come for good amount of time, as the Assassination skills are where his character gets really interesting, I love how you've actually taken the time to name them (the concept of following the trend by naming them after Japanese insects is also very interesting) and give them well-thought of properties well-suited for assassination, My personal favorite among the Ansatsuhou Techniques would be "Sasori" the concept is beautiful and it gives the vibe of being his signature technique, other than Kagerou. While we're into the subject, Kagerou is a technique you've taken a lot of time to create, I can see that - but it lacks a very important thing, a damage description, you've included next to no information about Kagerou as an offensive technique, and as such it can be misinterpreted as simply causing an opponent to spin around in the whirlwind with no other negative effects than to make them dizzy (I'm aware of its actual effects though, which I suspect is that since its a Tornado, anything caught in the wind would be effectivelly ripped apart by the conflicting currents - Real-life tornadoes reduce metal item such as fringes and cars to scrap after all, it doesn't take much imagination to find out what'd happen to us squishy humans the same situation ^^) I have nothing against his skills in these fields, as they make perfect amounts of sense. As for his Kido provess, you've stated that he's a master, and that is evident, although he doesn't appear to fulfill more than the minimum criteria for being concidered a master. Other than his proficiency with Binding Spells, which is quite obviously above the average of a Kido Master. It also makes itself known that due to his somewhat neglecting Destructive Spells they'd have detoriated somewhat over the span of the years. I'm abit uncertain what to think of his Mastery within Kido though, he's so good in many things allready, and he has so many increasing attributes, so this, coupled with his intelligence could serve to make him overpowered in some senses, Kido is a very versatile art, after all - and he's already a very powerful character only counting his Swordsmanship, Shunpo & Assassination provess, furthermore, he doesn't appear to have any definite set of weaknesses in order to balance him out. I think you should add them, or remove some existing attributes from him for future balance. Intelectual Assets Most likely one of the most fearsome aspects of your character is his vast intellect in comparison to many other characters, I enjoy how you've fleshed out his intelligence and while I think it may somewhat compromise the characters balance, it is something that should better stay. After all, many of his stories, and likely the reason for his very position is linked to his expansive mind, and talents within the arts of Strategy and subterfuge/manipulation. 'Afterwords' Allright, you have no clear and obvious sign of overpoweredry, much less godmodding - though you have subtle balance problems. I've tried to mention all of them, but I finish with this, due to the fact that he's primarily a close-range to mid-range character you should likely make it so that his skill in Kido matches that, I suggest that he's able to cast only a certain number of spells, though those spells are choosen carefully due to their use in his preffered fighting-style, though when casting those spells, he does it with skill which is concidered somewhat above Master-level. I'll review the Zanpakuto separately at a later occassion, I'm only halfway done though, and I'll come back to you quite soonish. most likely after we've finished the Swan and the Hunter, as that'd give me firsthand experience on its abilities. Njalm2 14:45, March 31, 2011 (UTC)﻿ ...The...FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-?!?!?!?!?! *explodes* Where did this piece of awesomeness hide from me?! O_O This is pure...epic...*dies* I SO want to combat this guy via RP! XD The Omniscent Shadow of the Moon 19:42, October 22, 2011 (UTC) ~Come dance with me, in the pale moonlight~